Ireland has many tragic love stories in its history and one of them is the tale of Kitty Kiernan and Michael Collins. Kitty was desperately in love with Collins and more than eager to marry him. They planned a double wedding with Kitty’s sister and her groom, but fate intervened and Collins was assassinated before the wedding could take place. A few months later on what would have been her wedding day, Kitty arrived at her sister’s celebration wearing black from head to toe. Collins’s death would affect Miss Kiernan for the rest of her life.
It’s not that I haven’t been writing. It’s that I haven’t been able to write about anything until this came out. It’s not about Ireland. It’s about humanity and ‘Merica. It had to happen before I returned to my regularly scheduled program.
My heart has been pretty heavy since the news hit about yet another massacre in the States. I have been quiet and reflective; not sure I was going to say much of anything publicly. After all, I did not know any of the victims and we all already know that it’s a horrible tragedy. However, […]
On May 3rd, 1916, Grace Gifford walked into a jewelry store in Dublin. Her eyes were red and she had obviously been crying. She bought her own ring and left with it in hand. Grace was on her way to Kilmainham Gaol to marry Joseph Plunkett, the love of her life. She knew that her family didn’t approve and that she’d be a widow just a few hours after the wedding but she chose to marry him anyway. The executions of the leaders of the Easter Rising had begun that same day. Patrick Pearse, Tom Clarke, and Thomas MacDonagh were executed for their roles in the Easter Rising and her beloved would soon join them.
Charles Parnell was the ultimate star of Irish politics in his day. His meteoric rise might have been enough to give Ireland the Home Rule it had longed for. He might have been the man to change the course of Irish history long before the armed militias and secret societies of later years ever had a chance to grow or rise up. He might have done all this and more—or not—but we will never know because his passion for Ireland came second to one other – and that one other was a married woman named Katharine O’Shea.
The two met originally because Katharine’s husband Willie had decided to enter the political arena. Like any smart and supportive wife, Katharine thought to further advance her husband’s career by befriending the most powerful politician at the time and that was Charles Parnell. This plan immediately backfired when the attraction between the two of them grew after their first encounter. Within a matter of months the two were carrying on a passionate and overwhelming affair, to the peril of all else.
It is highly improbable that Willie O’Shea did not know of the affair, given that Katharine had three children with Parnell. He turned a blind eye to his wandering wife for the sake of his political career and all of the Parnell children were given the last name of O’Shea, despite their bloodlines. He used Parnell for his own career advancement and lived comfortably on his wife’s money, staying silent about the affair for years. He held his tongue until it would utterly destroy everything Parnell had been working for. Then and only then did Willie open his mouth, publicly and scandalously.
It was Christmas Eve in 1889 that Willie filed for divorce, and it was motivated by greed since Katharine had just received a large inheritance. She tried to silence him with a large settlement but he would not be satisfied and he continued to petition for divorce. He dubiously claimed that he had known nothing of the near decade-long affair and he named Parnell as a co-respondent in the proceedings, knowing that it would destroy both his wife and the politician. Support for the Home Rule that was Parnell’s dream fell along with him and burned out in scandal. He was accused of bribing Willie in order to sleep with his wife. The Irish Parliamentary Party split down the middle and the only thing they agreed upon was that it was all Katharine’s fault. She was accused of being a manipulative Englishwoman who had designed the affair to take down Parnell. She was called a whore and was told that she was responsible for the defeat of Home Rule. The Irish press took to calling her Kitty – a slang term for a stupid, young, or childish woman and a more subtle, occasional title for prostitutes, or certain parts of the female body. It was an open insult to her and one that stung the lovers deeply.
Parnell fought back, and tried to keep his career from totally imploding. He defended them both and sought to calm the scandal by proving once and for all that their love was real. They were married on this day in 1891 but in spite of his hopes for understanding and respectability, the wedding only made things worse. The press categorically refused to call Katharine by her married name of Mrs. Parnell and they continued to hurl abuse at her, selling paper after paper denouncing the couple. Parnell’s attempts to save them both only put another nail in the coffin and although he tried to resume his work after the wedding, he quickly discovered that the Ireland he had fought for had irrevocably turned against him and the love of his life.
Katharine, or Katie, (but never Kitty,) as she was known to friends and family, was the perfect scapegoat and her notoriety as the woman who harpooned the best chance of Home Rule for Ireland still permeates today, even though many historians feel like Parnell would never have achieved it anyway. She was a woman of scandal, even though her true love had made an honest woman out of her, so to speak. Their marriage only lasted four months before Charles Parnell passed away – and it was fraught with stress and insults all the way through. At least they had the years of joy beforehand, otherwise Katharine Parnell may have lost her mind completely. As it was, she had the first of many breakdowns soon after her husband died but she went on to publish a few books and she lived for another thirty years. Just not in Ireland.
So you want to move to America? Whatever for?! Unless you are in a “third world” country, chances are your health care is better, your education is better, your work schedule is better, and people are probably kinder where you already are. Considering the weakness of our dollar, our union-busting corporations that are considered people, the current political climate, our abhorrent race and gender issues, and our militarized police force, I would encourage you to think again before coming to the “Land of the Free.” However, since a lot of people are still interested in moving here, I thought I’d go over some of the most common ways to accomplish it and throw my observations into the mix. We are hard on our immigrants—legal or not—and there are several things to consider. Here are some of them, wrapped up in the most frequent ways to get into good ol ‘Merica. Keep in mind, this isn’t even about the path to citizenship. These are just things I’ve witnessed while watching people try to obtain semi-permanent residence and entrance into our work force. Citizenship is even more difficult.
A few months ago, I shared a love story. My dear friend Jody found the man of her dreams through the magic of technology. Unfortunately for the two of them, Kevin was half a world away in Raheny on the outskirts of Dublin and Jody was here in California. Trips between the United States and Ireland can get pretty expensive relatively quickly. At some point in the future Kevin might have moved away from Raheny but he did not want to come to America at all. That was never in the plan. However, even the best laid plans change and he did end up coming here for Jody. At first, everyone on both sides of the puddle worried a bit but there was no need. Kevin is delightful and Jody has never been happier. I was thrilled for them when they got married a few months after his arrival at San Francisco City Hall and it has been my privilege to watch them grow into an amazing couple.
This last weekend in Merrion Square, hundreds of Dubliners saw an outdoor viewing of one of my favorite movies in the world – Dead Poet’s Society. The proceeds went to various suicide prevention and mental health programs in Ireland which is incredibly encouraging. Here in the U.S., our entire health care system is broken and the worst victims of this are those who suffer from mental health afflictions. Whenever something that is this tragic and heartbreaking happens, we always hope that it will change the dialogue and the system, but it rarely does anything to truly help, except at a grass roots level. Our politicians can’t admit that the reality of how poorly we treat our citizens is appalling because then they would actually have to come up with a way to change it – and that involves a complete revamp of mental and physical healthcare. Continue reading
This love story turned a new page yesterday. They started as random long distance/online pen pals – he’s from Dublin, she’s from the U.S. – and 8 months later, he’s here in the United States and this just happened.
For more on their whirlwind romance and love story click here. And then raise a glass in congratulations and hope. His parents have been married for 54 years next month – hopefully these two have that same kind of luck and fortitude.
One of my other passions aside from all things Irish is jewelry making. I usually make larger, more dramatic pieces but this delicate gem is inspired by the Irish wedding I am lucky enough to attend tomorrow. It’s too bad the bride said she didn’t need jewelry. Garnets and sterling silver are always such a lovely combination.
Today I give you a love story – one that I hope will become a fairy tale ending. When I begrudgingly came home from Ireland at the start of the year, I had a coffee date with a good friend who was enthralled with the stories I was sharing with her. She promptly went home and started researching Ireland on many sites – including a dating one that she had a profile on.
She changed her location search to Ireland and browsed a few profiles there. Within a couple of weeks, she was in constant conversation with a man from Dublin. Each stayed up all night to continue talking despite the time difference and when she flew to Dublin six months later for her first “real” date, I was thrilled for her, particularly when they hit it off even better in person. By the time she left, she had met the parents and friends, and they were planning for him to move here to the U.S.
This is where I think the story goes a little backwards, at least in my head. I want to leave the U.S. and live in Ireland, and eventually, so does she. While I was traveling there, the first question most people asked me once they learned I was an American was “Well, what the hell are you doing here?”. I understand the economy is terrible in Ireland – it is here too – but I was surprised and saddened when the people I spoke to were desperate to get out of Ireland – particularly when all I wanted to do was stay. It is thought that more Irish live outside Ireland than within it, which is a terrible statistic.
But I digress. He was to move here. When he was laid off in Ireland, he joined thousands who had been unable to find a job, and she has one here that could support them both temporarily. So despite her desire to eventually move there, he just landed here in the United States and they are off to a good, if lightning quick, start.
Here is where the tricky business of visas comes into play. He can only stay for a few months unless they get married – which is their plan – to the bewilderment, trepidation, and fascination of everyone that hears their tale. They are a love match but are still getting to know each other outside of the internet. In addition, he has to acquaint himself with a whole new country in a short amount of time, one in which he likely will be unable to work at least for a few months. They have been forced through geography and government to make drastic decisions in an incredibly short amount of time.
They’re choosing each other, consequences be damned. Whether it works out in the end or not, I have to salute their willingness to change everything for each other and try to make it work. It’s rare to find a person who matches you – especially one who will grab the hand and jump – no matter where that leads. Their story gives me a goofy grin and can only hope that it works for them…despite my belief that she’s doing it backwards.
Slainte to you both