Top 5 ways to not be a jerk on St. Paddy’s Day

Yes it’s that time of year again. St. Patrick’s Day is upon us and here on the U.S. side of the puddle, it can quickly become a trash fire of epic proportions. This year I’ve decided to improve the easy list I started a few years ago so that we can hand it out to our beer hat-wearing, cheap leprechaun-looking, fake Irish-dancing friends in order to keep them (and us) from acting the fool. Here’s five simple DON’Ts that will make the Wearing of the Green safer and more palatable for everyone, no matter where you live or where you’re from. So in case you missed it the first time around – here we go!

1. Don’t pinch people. It’s rather hard to believe in the age of the #MeToo and #TimesUp campaigns that anyone still has to be told that aggressively grabbing, touching, or pinching strangers is wrong. However, just in case you thought that rule didn’t apply on St. Patrick’s Day let me remind you that it is still wrong to pinch any part of anyone for any reason without their permission. It will always be wrong to to touch or pinch people in any way without their consent, so keep your little pinchy urges and tiny crab claw fingers to yourself and just say no. Everyone, male or female, with thank you for it.

2.  DO. NOT. ORDER. AN. IRISH. CAR. BOMB. Seriously folks, I don’t know how many times I have to say this to people. Nothing personifies ignorance, caricature, and casual cruelty better than walking into an Irish pub and ordering up an Irish Car Bomb. This horrifically named cocktail is American-made and designed to get you very drunk very quickly. It is highly effective but it’s also named after a weapon that has been used to kill and maim literally THOUSANDS of people in the country it’s named after. No one who grew up in Ireland (or knows its history and/or has a deep love for it) can tolerate the obnoxious name for this drink and for many Irish people, it brings up trauma and terrible memories. It is not funny, not appropriate, and not cool for you or your friends to sell or order any drink by that name, and it could get you kicked out of your favorite Irish pub or it could just get you kicked in the face.

That being said, Irish Whiskey, Irish Cream, and Guinness are all very tasty treats. You can order and pay for a glass of each, mix the ingredients yourself, and try a delightful, super-intoxicating elixir. You could make up a new drink special just by calling it something else (it’s also been referred to as the ‘Holy Trinity’ and ‘the Ulster Flip’) or you can just refuse to serve or drink it at all and many Irish people and Irish history fans would thank you for it. You have to be on quite a mission already to give it a whirl but that doesn’t mean you have to be an ignorant douche when you order it at the bar.

3. Don’t misspell the name of the day. If you’re hunting for Irish-themed decor or clothing, choosing a hashtag, or you have some other reason to shorten the name of this holiday, please remember that the correct spelling is P-A-D-D-Y. It’s not St. Patty’s. There are no Ts in the Irish spelling of Padraig, nor any Ts in the abbreviated and shortened version of it. A good friend of mine once said “I always remember to stick with the Double Ds.” We were talking about his taste in women at that time, but the rule applies here just as well. Which brings us to another important rule.

4. Don’t buy into stereotyping or bigotry. If you want to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day good on you but you don’t have to propagate the stereotypes to do it. Pass on anything that conveys the message that Irish people are drunks, fighters, leprechauns, or idiots. Find something that celebrates Ireland’s rich culture instead of something that mocks it. The Irish have fought against these stereotypes for years and buying a T-Shirt that propagates them may seem harmless but it isn’t. The only way companies will ever offer a wider, more celebratory variety of St. Paddy’s Day swag is if their customers quit buying awful, bigoted costumes. Pass on the ‘Kiss me I’m Irish’ stuff too unless you are actively consenting to anyone doing just that. (See #1)

Don’t insult Ireland’s culture while you claim to be celebrating it.

One more thing along this line – when you’re using your outside voice, please realize that no one says “Top o’ the morning” or “Give me my lucky charms” ever and that fake accents of any kind are obnoxious, whether you’re drinking or not. Just keep that lilt in check.

5. Know your history. In IrelandSaint Patrick (Padraig) is celebrated for “driving the snakes out of Ireland” which is a metaphor for bringing Christianity to the island and systematically erasing its pagan roots. This is a Catholic holiday and how we celebrate it is decidedly NOT. Incidentally, this is also why the color code of the day is green, which is traditionally associated with the Catholic faith in Ireland. You shouldn’t have to wear it on St. Patrick’s Day if you’re not a Catholic but trying to explain that to a million and one drunken Grabby McPinchersons in the room, can be exhausting. (See #1.)

Now I am all for transforming the holiday from a religious one to a party and cultural celebration. I’ve no love for the Catholic religion. I personally support the ‘Bring the Snakes Back’ movement but stepping all over anyone’s culture is always messed up and should be avoided whenever possible. It’s easy to ignore the religious origin of St. Patrick’s Day when terrible T-shirts, sparkly shamrocks, green beer, and offensively named drinks are the norm but it is still a quiet, religious day for many. After all, St. Patrick’s Day is smack dab in the middle of Lent, which is a period of time when many Catholics give up things like alcohol and parties. There are plenty of traditional and religious folk in Ireland who rail against the parades and parties that have become decidedly more “Americanized” and secular in various parts of the country. Keep that tidbit particularly in mind if you ever decide to spend the holiday in rural Ireland. In the meantime, it’s always good to know where any holiday begins before celebrating (or reclaiming) it.

And there you have it. Five things you shouldn’t do this year or any other for that matter. Have fun, get wasted, dye your hair green, take the green Mardi-Gras beads out of the closet, go to mass, party all day and all night, sing some rebel songs or do whatever else you were planning to do – just try not to be a complete asshole when you’re doing it. Be sure to think ahead and plan a way home so you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else. Have a blast and remember one simple thing – treating other people and other cultures better every single day makes the world a better place.

Now then. Where’d I put my glittery green lipstick?

Sláinte.

Civil Rights

In the civil rights arena, America gets a lot of the press and always has. Many of the worst atrocities and biggest conflicts in the movement happened in the United States, and they continue to happen to this day. Hollywood has made plenty of movies chronicling the American fight for civil rights, including one about the fateful march from Selma in 1965 that raised awareness and inspired equality all over the world, especially in the north of Ireland where another civil rights movement was being born.

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No Guns For You

Once upon a time, the American government worked. Bipartisan agreements made sure laws and budgets were passed, the court system wasn’t overloaded and exhausted and Presidents were kept in check by legislators, rather than the other way round. I know it sounds like a faerie tale in today’s day and age but it is true. People in government once did their jobs. America even had a law on the books that refused support or arms to any country that was designated as a human rights abuser and it could actually take a stand against others in that arena without being a complete laughingstock. To be sure, these embargoes always depended on which lobby had the most influence on the American government at the time, but occasionally the U.S. actually lived up to its own hype. On this day in 1979, the U.S. even stood against one of its biggest allies when it refused to send arms to the Royal Ulster Constabulary (the RUC) in the North of Ireland on the grounds that the British government was violating the human rights of the citizens who lived there. To say that the powers that be on both sides of the puddle were upset by this stance would be an understatement, but there was no easy way to get around it thanks to Ad Hoc Congressional Committee for Irish Affairs.

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John O’Mahony

Many of Ireland’s great Fenians scattered to the wind to avoid prison when their various uprisings failed. More than few of them ended up on America’s shores and promptly set about creating organizations that furthered the Irish cause within the United States. One of those powerful men was John O’Mahony, the founding member of the Fenian Brotherhood in America.

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Kathleen O’Brennan

Kathleen O’Brennan is one of three revolutionary sisters whose lives were totally changed by the Easter Rising of 1916. Her sister Lily was heavily involved in the Rising and the cause of Irish freedom and her other sister Aine, became an Easter Rising widow when her husband was executed for his role in the revolt. Kathleen wasn’t in Ireland at the time of the Rising – but this didn’t stop her. She fought for Ireland from the United States earning a difficult reputation and a spot in the history books of her own.

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International Women’s Day

Last year on International Women’s Day I was in Derry, exploring the murals that were off the beaten path. I found many honoring the women of the area – including one that was painted in honor of International Women’s day itself. I find that looking through my pictures of them now is just as inspiring as it was then, and I think sharing my favorites on both sides of the puddle is especially powerful on today of all days.

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No Irish, No Catholics

While we’re on the subject of racism, sectarianism, and discrimination, here’s another tale of Anti-Irish (and Anti-Catholic) riots…not in Belfast but from right here in the United States. Back in 1844, the Protestant extremists were called Nativists, despite the fact that they were descended from immigrants and were not natives in any way. Ignoring that truth entirely, they felt that they were the established rulers of the area and were not pleased with the influx of Irish coming into the States. They began a large scale propaganda war promoting discrimination against the Irish and set out to spread their sectarian platform against Catholicism. By the time the Nativists in Philadelphia were done venting their anger, there had been riots for months, a lot of Catholic churches and businesses had been torched, over 200 people had fled their homes, and fifteen people were dead. Over fifty more people were injured by the end of the fight.
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July 2nd belongs to The Irish Brigade

Today I give you a story of the Irish in America during the Civil War. Throughout American history the Irish have always had a connection to discrimination – first being discriminated against  (No Catholics, No Irish) and then gaining a generalized reputation for discriminating against others. Part of this stems from their own persecution that developed into a deep distrust of anyone outside of their own communities. Some of it is just the age old misconceptions of the Irish in general – that they’re all devoted to shenanigans, violence and little else.

If you buy into those generalizations, you may assume that the Irish Brigade fought for the Confederacy in the Civil War. Thankfully, you’d be totally wrong. They were a highly effective tool for the North, though many were conflicted and unsure of their allegiance. The Union promised them more freedoms and rights, even if they had to fight for them – but many also worried that emancipation would involve more people who would challenge them in their struggles to find even the lowliest of jobs. But in the end, the Fighting Irish committed to the North and when they did, the North gained a company of men that were brilliant fighters who seemingly would never give up.

The Irish Brigade was nearly decimated more than once but they continued to fight even when they lost more than half their numbers. In the battle of Fredericksburg, their numbers fell from 1600 to a measly 256. It was during that battle that General Robert E. Lee allegedly referred to the Irish company as the “Fighting 69th”. They bled through some of the biggest battles of the Civil War and were disillusioned, tired, and only about 500 strong on July 2nd, in 1863, when they fought in the battle of Gettysburg.

As they prayed near Cemetery Hill before they went into battle, the soldiers knew that they were grossly outnumbered and likely to die. They made their stand in a place that would henceforth be known as the Wheatfield, where they were part of an attack designed to stall the Confederate forces that were advancing. The Brigade initially forced them back, fighting dirty with all they had – hands, knives, bayonets, clubs, and muskets. It was such a fierce melee that one of their opponents was quoted as saying that it was “the hottest and sternest struggle of the war.” Ultimately, after losing over one third of their already skeletal numbers they were pushed back, but their ferocity had slowed the South enough that the Union line held until reinforcements arrived.

In the end, during the entire Civil War, only 2 other Union brigades lost more people than the Irish. There is a beautiful statue of a Celtic cross with a mourning Irish Wolfhound that’s been raised on the battlefield in Gettysburg to commemorate their sacrifice. Gettysburg is hallowed ground to many but near the cross you can almost hear the battle cry of the Brigade – Fág an Bealach, which means Clear the Way. And the nickname that General Lee had given the unit, has stuck around for more than a century, living on even now. The Wolfe Tones wrote a song about them that the Dropkick Murphys have resurrected and covered. Also, since 1907, the Fighting 69th has been a unit in the National Guard Of New York. They have fought in both World Wars and served with distinction in almost every conflict to this day.

  Gentlemen, thank you for your service.

 

In Memorium, Irish Brigade

In Memorium, Irish Brigade